you can just be wherever you are

WATCH ME RIP THIS AND REPLAY FOR THE WHOLE OF THIS AFTERNOON K

knows exactly she's doing. Well, why not?
Along the street, around the corner, the piece of her
that's just disappearing. If that's the way it works,
that's what she'll do. Sometimes in shorts, with
tanned thighs, or with sleeves like cabbages, or the
whole body falling liquid from the shoulders: whatever's
about to happen. Lace at the throat, the ankle,
skimming the breasts, wherever they're putting it this
year, and a laugh or not, at the pulsepoint. What will
it get her? Something. You have to know when to
run and where, how to close a door gently. Just a
little showing, something the looks like flesh, they
follow a few white stones dropped in the forest,
under the trees, shining in the moonlight, clues, a
trail. To get from one point to the next and then
see another, and another beyond that. She deals in
longing, the sickness of the heart, stuttering of the
arteries, would you call it suffering, where does it
lead? Deeper into the forest, deeper into the moonlight.
They think they'll come out from among the
trees and she will be there, finally waiting, for them,
all cool white light.

- Margaret Atwood

“Relax, Dinozzo,” Gibbs said. “One scientist.”

Tony rubbed his temples. “Thank God.” He leaned his head into his palm and saw Ellie and Alexandria as his eyes closed. He opened them immediately and then slowly, with great hesitation, closed them again. There might still be something there. There might have been something that he had missed, that even the clearest of the sketches had ignored. He kept staring at the bodies as he talked, not letting his eyes move from the blood, from the dead children. “Don’t think I don’t know what happened. You played me. I let you, but you still played me. I just wanted you to know that I knew.”

“So why did you let me?”

“I told you,” Tony said, “I’ll follow your lead. But you could have just asked. You didn’t have to . . . say that.”

He was lying through his teeth, and he had the feeling that Gibbs knew it. The realization that he’d been played had actually hit him out of nowhere while he’d been dialing Pete - - a complete sucker punch. He’d actually let himself cave under a single compliment, the law enforcement equivalent of a cheap date. He hadn’t even held out for something genuine, even a better lie than some throwaway remark about shoelaces.

Lying now was the only one he could save face.

What was even worse than being played was the fact that he’d wanted to believe it.

“Don’t go to the trouble next time,” he said bitterly, and meant it. “Just give me a damn order. I know where I stand.” He looked down at his sketchbook, flipped through the pages, and tore one free from the binding. “Here. This is the best one.”

Gibbs took it without comment.

“You talked to Lacher. I want to talk to Kelly.”

“What if he won’t talk to you?”

“Everyone talks to me,” Tony said levelly. “Lucas. Pete. Dr. Mallard. Even you. So do I have permission to go now, boss?”

“See what you can find out,” Gibbs said.

He told himself that he hadn’t wanted Gibbs to look guilty, anyway. He had forgotten what he’d most needed to remember - - that his alliance with NCIS was only temporary, that Gibbs would be a wisp of smoke before his next evaluation. He had made the mistake of getting too comfortable. He wouldn’t do it again.

He thought that he heard Gibbs call to him when he was struggling through the crowd, but he didn’t look back. He kept moving, the way he always did.

-sequitur

Okay, capslock off for once in my life.

So I was thinking a bit yesterday about how Kris has this fairly rare personality type, in that he's a shy, quiet extrovert. He gets his energy from other people. Not from screaming fans (someone commented recently that they thought he doesn't like loud noises, and I totally see that too), but from... I'm not sure how to describe it. He gets his energy from community. From the strength of the bonds he has with his loved ones. But he doesn't just get energy from receiving love through these bonds, as far as I can tell, he mainly draws his energy from giving love through these bonds.

It reminds me how Obama talks a lot about how we are all our brother's keeper. This is Kris's life philosophy. Humanity is community to him, and we have a responsibility to the least fortunate among us. Thinking about what a difference he'll be able to make in the world with his new post-Idol life gets me teary. Kris wasn't just wearing that FREE BURMA shirt as a political statement. That really means something to him. The Takamine guitar story happened in a Thailand refugee camp for Burmese people fleeing the violence in their own country.

And it just touches me even more when you compare the way Kris goes about this to the total douchebag attention whore "please give me a cookie, I donated to a soup kitchen" way that Gokey functions. Because Kris IS shy. He never wants to be in the spotlight, especially not receiving accolades for doing something he thinks is his responsibility as a human being to do.

All of the Danny, Matt, and Anoop bubbletweets from the tour have been so interesting to me because they illustrate how Kris really IS that guy who "likes to hide in the background, and stick my head out occasionally to say hi." Because I love Adam, and it is absolutely hysterical how everytime he sees someone bubbletweeting he runs across the room to stick his head into the camera shot and yell something. But I also find it so strangely sweet that Kris is also always in the room during these videos, but we only ever find this out when Anoop/Danny/Matt physically TURN the camera towards him and INSTRUCT HIM to say hello. Because Kris wants other people to have their own spotlight, and he wants other people to share in his own.

I felt so much like, oh, of COURSE, when we found out that Kris wants the audience to sing with him during ATTTID and that he specifically wanted to bring all the other idols on stage and have an arena sing-a-long for his set closer. That is Kris in a nutshell. I thought that fic Just One Sheep was so astute -- Kris isn't someone who enjoys standing alone. Not because he lacks confidence or what the fuck ever, but because he get his energy from giving love and sharing experiences with other people. That's what he's about.

(And I totally do not care at all that I sound like a total hippie flake for the number of times I used the word "energy" in this comment. KRIS IS THE SOURCE OF OUR QUOTE "WE JUST FELT EACH OTHER'S ENERGY AND IT WAS NICE." HE TOTALLY BELIEVES IN THIS KIND OF STUFF TOO.)

SO THOSE ARE MY TL;DR THOUGHT OF KRISTOPHER NEIL ALLEN, WHO I LOVE LIKE BURNING. TWO WEEKS UNTIL I CAN SEE HIM LIVE!!

@sarashina_nikki.livejournal.com

SHITTY THINGS TO GET DONE BY THIS WEEK

- SHOOTING AND EDITING OF MEDIA HOMEWORK
- CRIT REVIEW
- UBD
- DEBATE PRESENTATION
- PREP FOR AMATH TEST
- AUDITIONS FOR SCMUN
- SCMUN PROPOSAL

I HATE MY EFFING LIFE.

I SERIOUSLY NEED KEVIN DEVINE CDS.

I NEED TO BE A BETTER JASON MRAZ FAN. HOW COME I DIDN'T KNOW THAT HE HAD A SONG LIKE THIS, ITS SO GORGEOUS, HIS VOICE IS SO INCREDIBLE AND ASFSDKL

AND WELL THIS IS EXPLICIT, BUT IT'S EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN THE ABOVE, IF THAT'S POSSIBLE.

AND HERE IS BB KRIS, ADORABLE AS ALWAYS <3

"Mo- Oh, you're into Twitters. Niiice."

"And Allison- I don't know how to sing like Allison, but she does this hand thing? She's gonna hate me for that, actually."

"They even have appreciation posts for your feet!"
"My feet? Oh, for my hairy feet?"

and by the way- this time for serious- I hate so much about the things you choose to be.

BRILLIANT HBP REVIEW, IF I WRITE ONE OF OWN I'LL JUST END UP COPYING ALL OVER THE PLACE

"I can use one word to describe the 6th Harry Potter film:

In every way, this is the most intimate film in the entire series, which is an intriguing decision on the creator's parts because I don't remember the book being so. But in every way, this film gets close to you, invades you, watches through your eyes, controls your affections, destroys your hands, divides your soul, and forces you to look inside yourself. OKAY, SO, REALLY, THAT'S JUST WHAT HAPPENS TO THE CHARACTERS. MY SOUL IS ACTUALLY PRETTY AWESOME RIGHT NOW. But you get my point.

To name just some of the instances: love potions, memories, three pieces of cursed jewelry--that matters because jewelry is only jewelry if its worn on the body, a walking stick, "Sweetheart", apples, blood on a napkin and blood in a drain, mind-control, "Molly," a vow, the loss of home and sanctuary, a kiss, lovers, death, souls. Everything was so private, so careful, and done with, as

two_if_by_sea's review put it, "so much care."

Also, let me take a moment to discuss the look of the film. This film was beautiful: nearly monotone at times, with dazzling use of light. AND THE FRAMING. There were so very many instances of characters carefully arranged in front of us: divided by lines, separated by shadows, tiny figures in the corner of a vast panorama. You know why this movie really, REALLY worked for me? Because it did with good cinematography what the other movies did with CGI. Graphics should be invisible, but beautiful. And this is the first film where I think they really achieved that: no use of CGI was pointless or indulgent. It was always to show something, to convey intimacy, truth, fear, or love. And the most emotionally wrenching things weren't CGI at all: two birds in two cages, drinking for the dead, a burning house.*

*probably was at least partial GCI, but it could also have been a real house burning.

And there's my favorite instance of framing, my favorite shot, in the entire movie: Harry chases Snape into the grounds, and Snape shoots him back. Harry stands and screams at him, and Snape looks back, but the camera is pulling away. We see Harry on the left, and Snape on the right. And stretched perfectly between them is a line of white mist against the low hillside. It's beautiful, and if I didn't already know Snape's future, I'd guess from that shot alone where his loyalty lies. Harry and Severus, connected by a white line of smoke: not unlike a patronus charm, or a silver thread of destiny.

Why show so many scenes as just conversations between two or three people? Every scene in this movie seemed to be a conversation between two people, or one person alone with their demons. INTIMACY. Why ignore the battle? Because it's more important to show us what Dumbledore means to Harry, and what Harry means to Dumbledore. To show us how the adults failed, over and over again, to save their children from this menace. Show us the children falling in love, show us the fears and the memories and the lies. Before the end, let us take a moment to stop, breathe, and really know who these characters are.

Then--take it all away. Prove that there is no such thing as a safe place. Explode their stores. Destroy their school. Burn down their home.

No. sanctuary."

@rashaka.livejournal.com

Everybody is just a stranger but
that's the danger in going my own way
I guess it's the price I have to pay

I WILL WRITE A ... THING ABOUT HBP AS SOON AS I GET THE TIME
BUT FOR THE RECORD I THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY
A PLUS PLUS ... PLUS? FOR EFFORT?
MY PROBLEM WITH HP IS THAT THEY SEEM TO CUT OUT ALL THE IMPORTANT PARTS FOR SUPERFLUOUS DETAILS. BUT I LOVED THE VISUALS, AND I THOUGHT THEY MADE A DECENT EFFORT WITH HARRY/GINNY IF YOU LIKE THAT PAIRING. I'M SEEING THE PARALLELS BETWEEN DRACO AND HARRY A LOT IN THIS ONE, AND I'M SO GLAD THEY DIDN'T CUT OUT THE GOOD HARRY AND DRACO SCENES. BECAUSE THEY ARE GOOD.

JUST FINISHED WRITING NOTES FOR BIO BUT HAVEN'T MEMORIZED, ANYTHING, FML, GOING TO DO MEDIA SYNOPSIS NOW? WHO GIVES A SHIT